A Year of Resolutions

Greetings from Powell!

Right now I’m on the last day of a short stay with my parents and brother in Ohio, where I was born and raised.  I just finished this blog and I figured I might as well post it from here.  Hope everyone’s holiday went well!

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As mentioned in one of my previous blogs, I have decided to do something a little different for this New Years.  Almost every year, I make a resolution, and almost every year, I’ve forgotten what it was by the end of the year.  Case in point:  I have no idea what I resolved to do this year.  So for 2012 I am going to keep up with my resolution.

But a year is a long time to keep a promise you made yourself probably tipsy on champagne.  And it can get boring.  So to keep it fresh, I am making a year’s worth of New Year’s resolutions, but I am doing them in one-month intervals.  I will inform you of my progress at the end of each month.  And who knows?  Maybe I’ll even keep up my new-found good habits, but no promises.

Just like anyone who’s ever dealt with smartasses in his life, I will add one disclaimer:  These are subject to change as I start working with them.  They might not be feasible if something comes up, or if I think of more clever ideas I may implement them instead.

Okay, so two disclaimers:  I don’t know that I’ll successful at all of these, but I’m going to try darn hard.

If anyone wants to join me on any one or all of these, feel free!  Although I’ve personalized them for me, they’re probably ones it wouldn’t hurt any of us to try.  If you decide to give one/all of them a go, let me know how you’re doing via email or a comment.  After all, misery loves company, right?

January:  Stop biting/picking nails

I am one of many people with the unfortunate and unsanitary habit of biting and picking my nails.  I’ve done it ever since I can remember.  When I was in high school, I occasionally would do it until I bled.  As a health care provider, it is especially important for me to kick this habit, as it can give bacteria and other pathogens an all-access backstage pass into my body.  As well as to myself, I have an obligation to my patients not to give all of them what one of them has.

February:  Forgo all forms of dessert except healthy alternatives

This is probably going to be my hardest resolution, as I have a major sweet tooth.  Yes, I realize this falls on Valentine’s Day, but February is also the shortest month, so I think it evens out.  By the way, “healthy alternatives” does not mean carrot cake.  It means an apple or orange.

March:  Spend a few minutes reading the news every day

It’s always good to be informed and all too often someone will mention some world event and I take on the look of a deer in headlights.  Reading 2 – 3 articles a day for a month will only serve to make me a more informed citizen.

April:  Abstain from consuming any alcohol

I am by no means a heavy or even moderate drinker, but I do enjoy a good Kentucky Ale or glass of merlot from time to time.  I don’t predict any difficulty in achieving this one, but you never know:  Once you take something away from someone, maybe it will make him/her want it more.

May:  Do 100 pushups a day

I try to get in some cardio at least three times a week, often more, but since I have no gym membership my resistance training has been somewhat lacking.  I figure that pushups are easy enough because it requires no gym; if you have a floor, you can do pushups.  And if you don’t have a floor, well, please tell me your secret for incessant hovering.  This resolution is carefully worded to not include the words “in a row.”  At first I’ll do four sets of 25, then move towards two sets of 50.  Heck, maybe I’ll get to the full 100 but in the timeframe of a month I seriously doubt it.

June:  Go vegetarian for the month

While I may not be a huge steak fancier, I absolutely love a good, juicy burger.  Going vegetarian is something I’ve always had huge respect for because it takes great discipline and in addition it’s the single most effective way to reduce your carbon footprint (turns out getting a Prius isn’t it!).  In addition, it’s not taking part in the rampant overuse of antibiotics fed to animals which is a huge contributor to the emergence of the “superbugs” you hear about now.  This one won’t at all be easy for me, but I highly encourage you to join me.

July:  Do one hour of community service for every day of the month

Giving back to the community is self-gratifying for the very reason that you’re selflessly doing something nice and it often puts you into contact with people that teach you new things and just make you feel good.  I don’t know what exactly I’m going to do yet for this one but there are two stipulations:  One, it is not something I plan to put on any resume or application (that wouldn’t be very selfless, would it?) and two, I am probably not going to do it in one-hour increments but probably in several large shifts (for obvious scheduling reasons).  I have deliberately picked a month where I will have a bit more free time since my program of study doesn’t go over the summer.

August:  Avoid soft drinks of any kind

This one I used to make at the beginning of several years, but I found that if I said I was going to avoid soda, I started drinking something equally unhealthy, such as lemonade or fruit juice (and yes, I know you thought that juice was healthy.  It really isn’t.)  I have dramatically cut back on my regular soda consumption, but I probably have a diet soda nearly every day, so that will have to go as well.  Basically I will just drink water except for black coffee and unsweetened tea.  If you are joining me on this one, alcoholic beverages in moderation are excluded because I assume you have them only at home and not during the course of your workday.  I hope.

September:  Keep a journal every day

This one I’m actually drawing on my psychology background for.  There are many advantages of keeping a journal/diary.  For one thing, it can help you organize your thoughts and look back with introspection on the day.  Being aware of your own behaviors, feelings, and thoughts makes you much more likely to be able to sort through them.  It can help you find patterns you never noticed before and help eliminate unhealthy habits or confront issues you never felt well-armed enough to tackle.  Sure enough, peer-reviewed studies have shown that participants who wrote a journal three times a week had lower incidences of depression and even physical health issues than their counterparts who wrote about a control topic. 

Just one thing, if you’re with me on this one:  Keep your journal in a safe place.  No one wants his/her deepest secrets available for public view.  There are many websites and applications that require a username/password to get in.  I myself will use a feature of Microsoft Word that requires a password to open the document.

October:  Learn a new word every day

Me have good vocabulary.  But me want expand vocabulary.  Me will use word-a-day website to expand vocabulary.  Me talk pretty one day.

November:  Meditate 5 minutes a day

My psychology background is coming in again for this one.  Apparently people who meditate are healthier psychologically and physiologically than people who don’t, on average.  I will admit this has always sounded kind of stupid to me, but after reading more and more about its benefits, well, who am I to judge?  Obviously before I try this one I will have to do some learning as to how to actually meditate effectively, so it has a learning component involved.  On or near November 1 I will try to post a blog with my findings so you can follow along if you like.

December:  You tell me!

I’m sure throughout the year I will have received plenty of suggestions on resolutions to try.  By December I will have more than enough to select one to try, and of course I will credit the person who suggested it.  So leave a comment or send me an email sometime between now and near the end of 2012.  I’ll be happy to consider it!

CK Cartoons Five

So I’m going to be honest with you.  This blog will be short and sweet.  Er, short anyway.  Well, not exactly short, either, but more brief than usual.  Because while I am not expending the usual effort for this particular blog, I am already hard at work on the next two blogs, because once school starts my time will be limited and these things don’t write themselves, people.  Since I’ve had a serious blog or two lately, I have elected to bring back CK for a few fun frames.

The first two are a bit random, as I had that awkward time between Christmas and New Years to fill.  The others are about New Year’s, which for some reason I seem to be really focusing on this year (I don’t know why).  I think some character introductions and reintroductions are in order before you view the following cartoons.

The main character, of course, is CK.  Which stands for Cookie Killer.  If you still have any confusions on that one, refer to an older blog here.

Ed was part of Skay Newsday like the other characters, but this first strip is his introduction into CK’s Life:  Between the Meals.  In Skay Newsday, Ed was a martial arts instructor, but he’s kind of a floater in the cartoon strip.  CK needed a friend to abuse, and Elbee (his roommate) could only endure so much.  Note that in this strip there’s the unseen narrator, which we haven’t heard from since the very first strip.  I guess you could say it’s me, the cartoonist.

In this strip we see Ester, CK’s girlfriend.  God only knows why she tolerates his bone-headed behavior, but somehow she and CK are together for CK’s Life:  Between the Meals.  She’s an elementary school teacher, which explains her patience for CK.  They're at the Rooftop Diner, a recurring location in the strip.

Yes, I realize this is crappy artwork at best.  This is CK and Elbee in the kitchen in their apartment.  As a writer (and a cartoonist, apparently) I always found it helpful to draw a physical map of the environment my characters inhabited.  As such I can tell you exactly what all is in the kitchen.  While this seems unnecessary, it is actually helpful for periodical works because it brings a sense of consistency.  A lot of cartoons and TV shows will have their characters in the same location many times, but it’s layout seems to change over time.  That always bugged me.

Some cartoon strips weren’t funny so much as they were serious.  Here is a rare example of that. 

Until next time, my friends.

Study Break Blog

It’s gotta be a new record.  Me, posting a new blog in only three days?  I know.  Sorry to disappoint, however; this one will be a super-quickie.

I have a priority procrastination problem.  When I absolutely, have to do task A, suddenly task B (which is no more pleasant) becomes super attractive.  Example:  Though I have a final exam in less than 24 hours, I have strong urges to clean my apartment, which for once isn’t really that dirty.  I’m also fighting the temptation to go for a run, look up/purchase textbooks for next semester, research housing for next year, organize my finances, and pick up part of someone’s shift at work.  I am being completely serious.

The funny thing is, none of those tasks are really that much fun anyway.  I guess in the face of something I have anxiety about, my way of procrastinating is to do something else “productive” so I don’t feel like I’m actually procrastinating.  Except it’s still procrastinating.  I have no idea why, but I’ve been this way all my life.

I thought I was the only one (well, at least a rare breed), but it turns out that several of my friends feel the same way.  As a matter of fact, a Youtuber I follow by the name of Meekakitty does the same thing, and she has managed to put it in a far more interesting way.  The video has a lot of announcement type stuff, but the humor is there.  And because I’m taking it easy on this one today, I’ll skip all the promotional stuff and just say she’s a very distinct YouTube personality, she’s funny, talented, and if you like this video you should check out some of her others.

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watchv=6erbmnuI_nc&feature=plcp&context=C247ddUDOEgsToPDskINB8FHZcVTo_qBW-ZRIZr3

NOTE:  I do not claim ownership of this video.  I have no ties to Meekakitty; I just like her videos

Now I’ve got Party Rock Anthem stuck in my head.  Maybe I’ll reorganize my music collection before I get back to studying.  And then maybe pay my bills.  And clean the toilet.

Resolving Your Resolutions

As the end of another year begins to draw to a close, it comes a time to reflect on what a year it has been, what we have accomplished, what we haven’t accomplished, and what we want to accomplish for the upcoming one.  That latter one is also known as a New Year’s Resolution.  People make them left and right on December 31^st, and quite frankly, it amuses me.

Example:  While at a New Year’s Eve party last year, a friend of mine told me that he resolved to quit smoking in 2011.  By 2 A.M., he officially broke that resolution.

Each year, people resolve to lose weight, exercise more, eat better, spend less money, etc—and by February, most of these resolutions have fallen by the wayside and have been almost completely forgotten.

I am no model myself.  One year (actually I’m pretty sure I have made this resolution several years) I decided to stop drinking soda.  I did great for 19 days, but then a trip to a favorite restaurant of mine broke down my willpower, and by day 20, I was back in soda-drinking bliss.  Fail.

I think what sets us up for failure is that most of our New Years resolutions are absolute and/or unspecific.  Take for example, “I will eat less junk food.”  That could mean almost anything.  That could mean eating one less bag of Funions that year and chalking it up as a victory, albeit a weak one.  Or conversely, “I will eat no junk food” is equally destined for disappointment.  “Junk food” is not defined, and the moment you slip up and eat a single fun-sized Milky Way, your goal is totally and definitively failed (in which case, why not eat the whole bag?).

Like a diet, a good resolution needs to be specific and it’s imperative that it has some wiggle room.  The conditions must be defined properly (“I will eat no chips, candy, or dessert”) and for a specific time period (which is often implied to be either the entire next year or the rest of your life, either of which is a very daunting interval).  The short-term failure terms must also be defined (“If I eat junk food I will jog 3 miles for each serving I consume”), although this can end up selling you a default for the price of your punishment.  It might be better to set a limit of… not zero.  Thus, the resolution may be something like, “I will eat fewer than 3 servings per week of chips, candy, or dessert for the next year, and going over limit results in the overage being subtracted from the allotment for next week.”

Does this sound like it’s getting complicated?  In a way it is, but now that you have set up rules for yourself, you have a framework for behavior.  Although the actual sentence is awkward, the directions are simple.  You know exactly what to do, how long to do it, and what happens if you don’t.

Of course, any great resolution can be crafted, but actually following it is a different matter.  Probably one of the two best things you can do to accomplish your goal are to write it down, preferably in a place you will see it often enough to be reminded (if necessary, on the fridge), as well as keep track of your progress.  In this case, a simple diary of junk food consumption would suffice.  You could take a piece of notebook paper and label lines 1-52 for each week of the year (both sides required), and each week you would jot down the days you consumed junk food.  That way you have a visual record of when you last ate that cheesecake.  With this, you can also plan around events that will likely make you default, such as eating cake on your birthday (a must, believe me).

I have focused on basically dieting because it’s the most common resolution for New Years, but this can work with almost anything (in fact, I challenge you to think of a realistic resolution that cannot and put it in the comments).

Lastly, I want to add an anecdote about going cold turkey.  It is my belief, based on what I have observed in others, learned in my studies, and learned from myself, that goals that require dramatic changes in lifestyle made literally overnight are pretty much doomed. 

My friend’s resolution to quit smoking is a good example.  I don’t know how many cigarettes he smoked a day, but going from say 15 to absolutely zero is not only really difficult psychologically, but in this case even physically.  Quitting smoking is a fantastic goal and I urge any smokers to try, but this is probably not going to work for 97% of the people who make the attempt, and almost for no one on the first try.

Likewise, ending habits we don’t normally think of as chemically addicting can be almost impossible to do overnight.  As someone who studied a lot of neuroscience in college, I can tell you that the way your brain processes information makes quitting anything hard, as the boundary between psychological and chemical dependence almost disappears at the level of the brain.  I could (and might) do an entire blog about this in particular, but suffice it to say that to your brain, addiction to junk food is almost as hard-wired as addition to alcohol, cigarettes, or other drugs.

Knowing this, don’t be afraid to do a roll-out of your New Year’s Resolution.  Eat five servings of junk food the first few weeks.  Then four, then three.  If this works, you may just get down to that zero we decided was unrealistic earlier.  But it takes time.

In the interest of actually doing something and not just talking about it, I will undertake a very special set of New Year’s Resolutions, which I will describe in another blog a little closer to New Year’s.  Until then, good luck getting your remaining shopping done!  I still haven’t done mine.  Maybe I should resolve to do it earlier next year…

Holiday Shopping: What Not to Buy

I have made a discovery.  I can spend hours cleverly crafting a thoughtful blog about insights on scholarly topics of hot debate, such as health care, birth control, gays getting married, or whether the U.S. should go to war with country X.  However, what seems to appeal a lot more is stuff like farting during chemistry quizzes, fat blue things named CK, and Robert Loggia.  So in the spirit of this, as well as the spirit of Christmas coming up, I present you with another superficial-esque blog.  I know the last one was about shopping, so I feel this might be a good follow-up.

I have made a second discovery.  An old gem, really.  A few years ago I thought I was going to be a YouTube star.  I also thought I would have a) more free time, b) more money to buy something other than a $20 webcam, and c) more talent.  Sadly all three were busts, but I think I squeezed out one decent video, which I am posting a link to below.  Is talc considered a gem?

LINK:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVQb8j-1DUQ

Yes, that’s really me, ages ago.  Well, two years ago.  So much has changed since then.  For example, I no longer have a fire extinguisher in my kitchen.

But seriously, thanks for bearing with the awkwardness.  Until next time, peace!!!

(You can see why that never caught on.)

Black Friday Blog

So as many as you know, today is that holiday where we show everyone what really matters to us.  That is, we wait in lines for hours to buy crap that’s $100 off.  Also known as Black Friday.  As such, this is my Black Friday Blog.  No, it isn’t really that long, and yes, I did choose that title for the sheer alliteration.  When you’re a mediocre writer you have to use whatever tricks you have in the bag.

Let me tell you about my family’s Black Friday tradition:  Each year my brother Ethan and I would look in the newspaper (and in later years, online) for good deals at stores near us.  The allure of laptops normally $1,299 that would be sold on Friday for a mere $1,199 would be tempting.  Then we would stay home the next day and not go shopping.  Festive, huh?

Last night, Kyle decided that he would have to introduce me to the Black Friday tradition.  There was a desktop he wanted to buy that was 20% off and since I’d never been before, he insisted we go.  Because I’m always open to (most) new experiences, I thought what the heck.

(Some quick background for those of you wondering why we were going shopping Thursday night A.K.A. Thanksgiving night and not today:  Many of the stores this year started their sales early, and since we had gone on the Thanksgiving Grand tour—up to Columbus, OH for dinner with my parents on the 23^rd and then down to Inez, KY for dinner with his parents that day—we were back in Lexington with nothing else to do.)

We left his apartment at about 9:00 P.M. and headed over towards a few random stores near the mall just to check out what was happening.  A lot of them didn’t start their sales until midnight, so eventually we just headed over towards Wal-Mart.

More background:  I’m cheap (and a student), so I do most of my shopping at Wal-Mart.  I am used to spending 5 minutes finding a parking space that doesn’t have an overturned cart occupying it.  I am also used to walking through picked-over aisles of food that probably isn’t very healthy and spending 20 minutes in line checking out in one of the two open registers out of the thirty they have.  So basically I am used to frustrating experiences at Wal-Mart, and I expected this to be probably twice as bad.

I was wrong.  The parking lot, which probably has a capacity of over 400 spaces, was literally full.  There were metal gates set up and a few police cruisers parked outside the front, almost as if they were expecting some sort of riot to break out (#OccupyWalmart).  After driving through endless rows of cars at about 2 miles an hour, Kyle finally spotted a guy getting in his pickup truck in preparation to pull out.  He took the opportunity.  I’m pretty sure we went the wrong way on a one-way area and pissed off a lot of people to get it, but eventually the car was parked.  Time elapsed:  18 minutes.

He and I made our way up to the actual building.  The normally confusing entrance and exit sides were clearly marked and separated—by another one of those metal gates.  An annoyed looking police officer stood by the doors, playing with either a not-so-new cell phone or a taser.  Either wouldn’t have surprised me.

Once inside, it was apparent that we weren’t going anywhere in a hurry.  There were so many people there that I could barely take small strides without bumping into strangers.  Even the produce section was ridiculously crowded, although I couldn’t help but notice that for the first time, it was well-stocked and mostly untouched.  I guess zucchini’s and bagged salad aren’t hot Black Friday commodities.

After a myriad of quiet “excuse me”s and “pardon me”s, we finally resorted to just pushing past people and when that didn’t work I found that faking a cough worked wonders in making obstinate people move out of my way.  Finally we were able to make our way to the back of the store where the electronics were.  Time elapsed so far:  26 minutes.

Aside from the mass of people just going wherever, there were specific lines for specific advertises specials forming.  I don’t know where the beginning of the lines started, but we were walking near their ends.  Most of the lines were signified by a balloon with the name of the product on it, presumably because no one would have ever seen a sign at actual eye level.  I asked a woman about twenty people from the front of a line for a 42” plasma TV how long she’d been waiting.  “Since five,” she replied.  I hoped she meant P.M. but I couldn’t be sure.

Finally, Kyle and I made it back to the computers.  The advertised desktop he wanted was nowhere to be seen.  We found a sales associate—who looked like she desperately needed some Motrin and a stiff drink—and asked where it was.  She had no idea what we were talking about, but referred us to another associate, who was equally uninformed.  She recommended a third associate, but the guy she was talking about was a whole 30 feet away and it probably would have taken us another five minutes just to get over there.  Time elapsed:  42 minutes.

Below is a picture I snapped in the electronics department.  It actually shows a less-crowded part of the store, namely because I felt too-self conscious to photograph a bunch of strangers in one of the more crowded sections.

“Is this worth it to you?” I finally asked Kyle.  “We’ve been here forever and we can’t even find the line for this computer.”

“I guess not,” he replied.  “Let’s just give up.”

Slowly and not all that surely, we made our way towards the front.  What normally would have been a straightforward trajectory ended up taking us on a few detours to avoid lines for other products.  Finally, the front of the store was in sight.  We were about to ooze our way into the final stretch when I suddenly noticed a guy heaving a big box on his shoulders towards the checkout lines.  It was the desktop Kyle wanted.

“Dude, where’d you find that?” I asked.  May take this moment to say that I normally preface questions to complete strangers with “Excuse me sir,” or at least, “Hey!”

“They’re in the back, near the DVD players,” he replied without even turning to look at me.  “There are only three left, so you’d better hurry.”

Without even thanking him, Kyle and I “hurried” (i.e. walked at 1 mph instead of 0.5) back towards the line for DVD players and looked around.  To our dismay, we didn’t see any.  But then he saw two boxes on the ground under a pile of random junk.  It was the desktop computer.  Apparently there wasn’t even a line for it.  I guess desktops aren’t as popular as they used to be.  Time:  1 hour, 13 minutes.

We shoveled the various items off the box and grabbed it and headed back towards the front, this time taking a slightly different route.  It was no faster.  When we finally got in sight of the checkout stations we realized that the lines for them actually started more towards the middle of the store.  I groaned.

As we pushed through people to try to find the beginnings of the lines, I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation between two women in a checkout line.

Woman 1:  “Ugh.  You know, this is ridiculous.  The fun is over.  Most of these deals aren’t even that good, and you can find the rest of it online and have it delivered to you in the comfort of your own home.”

Woman 2:  “I know how you feel; we’ve been waiting to check out for two hours.”  They still were only beginning to approach the front, so they likely had a while to go.  “But can I buy this online too?”

She was holding up some sort of “as seen on TV” product, you know, the kind where they say “Call now!  This product isn’t in stores!”  I was willing to bet that if you could buy it in a store, you could buy it online.  And if that failed, you could at least call whatever place that sold it, as stated in the commercial.

Woman 1:  “Yes, that too.  Come on.  Let’s go.”  And they did.

In fact, they left a whole cart full of crap sitting right there.  It certainly wasn’t the only derelict cart, in fact.  All night Kyle and I had been dodging carts in the middle of aisles.

I turned to Kyle, and he knew what I was thinking.  Those women had been waiting for two hours.  We hadn’t even gotten in line yet.  And now that I thought about it, that desktop was probably available for the discounted price online too.  We decided to take the women’s unintended advice and abandon ship too.  But what to do with the (heavy) computer we had in our hands?  It would take fifteen minutes just to get it back to the spot we’d retrieved it from and another fifteen to get back.

We looked at the abandoned cart.  Without even saying anything, we hoisted the computer into it and left it with the other stuff.  Before we even started to walk away, random people came by and started digging through the stuff and taking what they wanted, like starving vultures.  I laughed as we moved away, thinking, You may have it now, but now you gotta get it out of here.  Time elapsed:  1 hour, 47 minutes.

By the time we finally got back to the car, Kyle and I were so ready to leave that we almost didn’t care that someone else had since pulled in next to us so close that I could barely get my door open to get in.  We followed the traffic to get out of the parking lot, which was moving even slower than the traffic to get in had been, and finally got on the road, which was congested with all the people going to midnight sales at other stores.  Just for our own amusement, we drove by Best Buy to see how many people were lining up for their midnight sale.  The line wrapped around the entire complex of buildings it was part of.  I’m pretty sure I saw tents in the grassy areas too.

It was well past a quarter after eleven when we got back to his apartment, tired and irritable.  We let the dog our, put on a movie, fell asleep during it, and went to bed.

Total time elapsed while out shopping:  2 hours, 12 minutes

Total money spent:  $5.67 (in gas; all that stop and go traffic is terrible on mileage)

Total computers bought:  0.0

Happy Black Friday, everyone!

CK Cartoons Four

Christmas is coming early this year!  Er, at least the CK cartoons regarding Christmas are coming early.  I considered posting some out of sequence and coming back and posting these during actual Christmas season (which, if you believe the ads on TV and displays you see in stores, starts November 1) but I decided not to ruin the order of the series.  There are notable changes as it goes on, although sadly the artwork remains conspicuously crude.

Speaking of holidays, tell me what are your traditions?  Back when I was a kid, my grandmother and uncle would drive from Peoria, IL to Columbus, OH and stay with us for a couple of days every Thanksgiving.  Often she would bring us presents wrapped in newspaper, which I thought was normal until I tried it with a friend in elementary school and got a very puzzled response.  To her credit, she raised two kids on nothing but social security (her husband—my grandfather—died when my mother was only four) so thriftiness was kind of a must for her.  My mother tells me I adopted many of her almost borderline-obsessive mannerisms with regards to organization and thriftiness.

Christmas was always a nuclear family thing; just my brother and parents at home.  We always listened to Christmas music while decorating the tree (always a real tree, and usually one from our backyard somewhere).  On Christmas Eve, we opened presents sent from relatives.  My parents also opened presents from each other and my brother Ethan and I, and he and I exchanged our own presents.  But gifts from Santa Clause always happened on actual Christmas morning.  After a full day of cooking, we usually ate around 8 P.M. (early for us!).  We always had goose instead of turkey for Christmas.

Like many family traditions, ours sort of fell apart as Ethan and I got older.  For many of the last few years, I’ve actually been at work on a lot of holidays (fortunately this year I will have Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve off).  Being in another state this year will also present a unique challenge.

Tell me what your traditions were/are in the comments section, but not before you enjoy a full five cartoon strips of CK’s Life:  Between the Meals!

Why I'm Not Going to Medical School

I am proud and happy to announce that I was accepted into the UK second-degree BSN program after all.  Apparently the US postal service is not to be relied on, because the letter never arrived.  Thankfully I called the admissions office and a surprised advisor told me that yes, I was accepted, and why the heck hadn’t I sent in my deposit and started my criminal background check yet?

In the spirit of this news, I am making an entry about my decision to enter nursing over going to medical school.  One of my very first blogs, titled “All About Me:  The Bid for Medical School” sort of describes the pre-med process in more of a narrative, but this blog is aimed more at what happened after that story.

I have decided not to make this an All About Me blog per se, mainly because it’s not nearly as entertaining, and I’m sort of cheating and reposting what was originally a Facebook note.  So if it takes on a more informal tone, that’s why.  Feel free to skip this one if you haven’t really been following my medical school blogs or just plain aren’t interested.  A regular blog will be up soon.

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Okay, so the purpose of this note will be to answer your questions about what I plan to do with my life now.  I have more or less waited to publish this until I was sure of my plans but I think now is an appropriate time to make the announcements.  Just for funsies, I have decided to put it in a Q&A format, so if you’re really lazy about reading notes you can just find your questions and read the answers.

  

Q:  How was graduation?

A:  I graduated with honors with a Bachelors of Science in psychology and a minor in neuroscience, magna cum laude.  It was pretty awesome, because I spent the last 5 years of hard work earning that thing.

Q:  Did you get accepted to medical school?

A:  Yes.

Q:  Are you going?

A:  No.  After a lot of thought, I have decided not to pursue a medical degree.  Instead I have opted to take a similar route and get my Doctorate in Nursing Practice (DNP).

Q:  What’s a DNP?  Is that the same thing as a nurse practitioner?

A:  Yes and no.  Most nurse practitioners you think of got their BSN (Bachelor’s of Science in Nursing) and then got their masters and became NPs.  By 2015, however, there will no longer be a masters-level NP and they will all require getting the doctorate.  This means more training, more responsibilities, and more money.

Q:  What exactly is the difference between a doctor and a DNP then?

A:  For primary care, their actual duties aren’t that different.  An MD would have more responsibility for running an actual practice.  Once you get into specialties and sub-specialties, the differences become more pronounced and it becomes much more advantageous to have an MD.  In terms of schooling, an MD does 4 years of medical school and then usually 2 – 7 years of residency.  A DNP does 3 years of DNP school, which includes clinical residency.  Lastly, the model of care is a little different between the medical and nursing realm.  The medical model is more pathology-centered while the nursing model is more patient-centered.

Q:  Why are you doing the DNP over the MD?

A:  A lot of reasons.  In terms of length in school, I will take 2.5 years to get my BSN (normally a 4 year program, but since I already have a B.S. it knocks out a lot of the schooling) and then another 3 years for the DNP, making a total of 5.5 years.  It’s true my MD friends will already be out of school and through 2 years of residency by the time I graduate, but as a resident you work an enormous number of hours per week for a wage that amounts to $10 per hour—less than what I make now.  As a medical resident, you are always under an attending so you have slightly less autonomy.  I will be in school longer, yes, but I will be practicing as a working professional as soon as I’m done.  In addition, I will have mostly the same capabilities as a GP, which was what I was most strongly considering as a pre-med anyway.  Because of the state of health in this country, the demand for GPs as well as DNPs will only go up, so I feel that I am making a sound economical choice.  Also, you can often get a workplace to pay for the DNP so I will be graduating with well over $150,000 less debt than my MD counterparts.  Lastly, after working in the nursing field for the last 4 years and knowing what I do about the medical field, I personally agree with the nursing model of care more.

Q:  So why not do the Physician’s Assistant?  That would only take you 2 years.

A:  As I mentioned above, I agree more with the nursing model of care—PAs are trained more or less as doctors without the two years of basic sciences.  Also, a PA must always work under a doctor while DNPs are stand-alone, and I like that autonomy.  Yes, it will be a lot more school, but I think my future is worth investing that time in.

Q:  So are you saying so-long to your pre-med and med-school friends in favor of your new career choice?

A:  Absolutely not.  I support their decisions and we most certainly still need doctors and always will.  Just because I have chosen a different path doesn’t mean I am forsaking them.  I realize that there is some animosity between nurses and doctors from time to time, but that is really only a minority of the cases.  98% of the time, doctors and nurses work together beautifully to deliver the best health care possible.

Q:  Gotcha.  So why go all the way to Lexington KY for your schooling?  Why not just stay in Columbus and go to OSU?

A:  With the timeline involved and OSU’s transitions to semesters, it would be a year before I could start my BSN at OSU.  In addition, OSU does not offer a BSN-entry option to their DNP program.  I could apply to the direct-entry Masters-level NP program, but I haven’t taken the GRE and it would be hard to do that in time, and it would all be for a degree that will soon be obsolete anyway.  I figure I can achieve my goals best at UK.  Lastly, UK’s nursing program is actually ranked higher than OSU’s, so it is yet another reason to go down there.

Q:  I heard that you were moving to Lexington to be with your significant other, Kyle.  Is this true?

A:  No.  While his presence is a huge bonus to moving down here, it is not the reason for my move.  Those of you who know me well understand that I would not change my life’s plans just because of a relationship that hasn’t even been 6 months long yet.  We will not be living together in the same apartment in Lexington, at least for the first year.  That being said, I do look forward to being closer to Kyle.

Q:  Are you still going to visit your friends in Columbus?

A:  For sure!  It may not exactly be possible to make the 3-hour drive every weekend, but I’ll definitely be up once in a while.  I will announce it when I make the trip.  For example, I wouldn’t mind working a few football games with Red Cross this coming fall as I did last year.

Q:  So what are you doing this summer?  When are you moving?

A:  This summer is definitely going to be one of transition.  My new lease in Lexington starts August 13, but I may be moving a bit sooner.  I am starting an STNA class as a requirement for the BSN program on June 20th and that will be all done on July 6th, so I will be in Columbus for at least that long.  After I have my STNA certification, I will apply to PCA/PCT jobs in Lexington, so as soon as I have one I will probably move down and just stay with a friend until my lease starts.  So basically I will be moving anytime between July 6th and August 13th.  I will announce it when I know for sure.

  

Q:  Any other big changes I should know about?

A:  None I can think of right now.  I will announce anything else as necessary.

  

I personally applaud your patience if you read all of that.  You get a cookie.  No, really.  I plan on having a going-away party and I will seriously give you a cookie if you ask!  Anyway, that’s all for now, and I want to thank all of you for being my friends and for all the great times we have had at OSU and Columbus for the last few years.  You’re the best.

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Sadly, I have no cookies left to offer, as this was from a while ago.  But reading this far is it’s own reward, right?  And if that isn’t incentive enough, I’ll let you in on a little secret:  Next blog will feature CK!